Small Things

Trouble

There’s this thing that sometimes happens to me when I meet someone, or rather, it happens before I meet them, the first time I see someone, but before they’re introduced, it’s as if I can sense this energy certain people give off, usually when I meet them I feel almost put-off by them, but in truth I’m always immediately attracted to them too, but this attraction mixes in with the strange distaste they give me. I simultaneously want and don’t want to talk to them. It’s so strong I have trouble looking at them, and yet trouble not looking at them. It makes me nervous, and I always want to turn to whoever I’m with and say “Look at that person, I have a bad feeling about them.” Even though it’s not really a bad feeling, it’s just a feeling, but I almost never say anything. Later, I end up having sex with this person.

This is not true of every person I have had sex with, but of the people I can recall having this immediate reaction to, I have gotten involved with every single one of them. It’s entirely possible I’ve felt like this loads of other times and forgotten about it because I didn’t end up sleeping with the person, but I don’t recall it whatsoever. It’s like a sixth sense for sex, haha.